This is such a hard subject. There is endless amount of emotion that comes with this, and I feel I’ve only scratched the surface. When I try and sit down and talk about it, or even sit down and write about it, it just never comes out the way I want it to.
This isn’t a straightforward, simple thing. It’s an emotional, messy, heart wrenching thing. But isn’t that what love is? Emotional and messy; yet amazing?
…I hope you all know what I’m talking about.
Envy on the Coast.
You might thinking, “My god, will she ever shut up about this one goddamn band?”
But the thing is, I can’t.
They crawl under my skin and make my body seethe and writhe with emotion. My throat closes up and my heart starts to burn. I respect and admire these boys not only for making music that affects me so, I also greatly respect them as people.
I am baffled by how this one little band, can make one little person feel this amazing inside. I don’t understand how they have this power over me. I don’t understand how they can bring tears to my eyes, thoughts to my brain, and emotions to my heart. All at once. How that is even possible, baffles me.
It’s like one of the boys shoved his hand into my chest and started squeezing. Constricting my lungs so I can’t breath, and squeezing my heart so the feeling gets bigger and more powerful. I choke over every lyric, every chord, every beat, and every note.
They wrench my heart into a knot so it is stuck on that one feeling. I can’t seem to shake it; I can’t seem to get this chill out of my bones.
Thanks a lot.
I've been disadvantaged from the start.
He constricted the veins heading straight to my head,
Re-routed the blood to my heart instead.
-"Starving Your Friends"
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