You're worth more than you can see.

This is such a hard subject. There is endless amount of emotion that comes with this, and I feel I’ve only scratched the surface. When I try and sit down and talk about it, or even sit down and write about it, it just never comes out the way I want it to.

This isn’t a straightforward, simple thing. It’s an emotional, messy, heart wrenching thing. But isn’t that what love is? Emotional and messy; yet amazing?

…I hope you all know what I’m talking about.

Envy on the Coast.

You might thinking, “My god, will she ever shut up about this one goddamn band?”

But the thing is, I can’t.

They crawl under my skin and make my body seethe and writhe with emotion. My throat closes up and my heart starts to burn. I respect and admire these boys not only for making music that affects me so, I also greatly respect them as people.

I am baffled by how this one little band, can make one little person feel this amazing inside. I don’t understand how they have this power over me. I don’t understand how they can bring tears to my eyes, thoughts to my brain, and emotions to my heart. All at once. How that is even possible, baffles me.

It’s like one of the boys shoved his hand into my chest and started squeezing. Constricting my lungs so I can’t breath, and squeezing my heart so the feeling gets bigger and more powerful. I choke over every lyric, every chord, every beat, and every note.

They wrench my heart into a knot so it is stuck on that one feeling. I can’t seem to shake it; I can’t seem to get this chill out of my bones.


Thanks a lot.
I've been disadvantaged from the start.
He constricted the veins heading straight to my head,
Re-routed the blood to my heart instead.
-"Starving Your Friends"

The PacTour- The Live Photos

**All of these pictures are of the band Another Day Late.

The Pac Tour- 2/16/08

-Another Day Late was pretty awesome. The bassist fucking owns.

-Elan from Danger Radio has the best dance moves you will ever see in your life.

- During Danger Radio, the first song, I was the only one singing along (more like going nuts, but whatever). Andrew sees that and leans down and starts singing to me.

-For DR and ADL, I was right up against the stage, dead center. Lead singers crotches = in my face. Shoving started so my mom pulled me out of the crowd. I was pissed, as you can imagine. I had the best fucking spot you can imagine.

-Managed to get back into the crowd, against the stage all the way to the right for Envy and The Audition.

-Ryan was sick, so Brian and Sal sang more.

-I couldn’t hear any of The Audizzle’s vocals. And I now have Seth sweat all over me. That boy was making a fuck face, yo.

-Everyone on the tour came out during The Audizzle’s last song and Larry (Envy’s tour manager) and one of the tech guys jumped into the crowd.

-Met Sal, Jer, and Ryan from Envy. Timmy and Joe from The Audizzle. And Kohl from ADL. I have pictures too. I look stupid in them all, sadly.

-When I tapped Ryan on the shoulder for a picture, he turns around, looks straight over my head, and then finally looks down at me. hahaha.

-The music at the after party was fucking sick.

That is all.

Me and Kohl from Another Day Awesome


Me + Joe and Timmy from The Audizzle


Me and Jer from Envy


Me and Ryan from Envy (Arggg, I look like an idiot. WTF prompted me to stick me tongue out.)


Me and Sal from Envy (I look nastayy. That's what I get for head banging for all of The Audizzle's set.)